My Grandmothers

So blogging seems to be the wave of the future and I've decided to join in. Many of my family and friends are now "bloggers". I'm excited to be a part of that group now!
Unfortunately my heart is heavy tonight as I enter my first post here. I have two grandmothers who are my only living grandparents. My Grammy Fewkes had a major stroke a while back and has had some smaller ones since. She has been in an assisted living home in Draper ever since. She's pretty frail and can't walk and she often gets confused. She seems to have finally settled into life at the assisted living facility but it was not very fun for her at first. I go see her fairly often. We chat and I take her for "walks" in the wheelchair. I'm always amazed at how quickly her life changed. She went from living alone and being fairly independent to having to rely on others for just about everything she does. Life is very fragile and can change in an instant. Visiting Grammy is hard sometimes but usually very fun. She is very witty and has a good sense of humor. I laugh the hardest watching her laugh at herself. She really thinks she's funny.
My Grandma Melba Campbell also holds a special place in my heart. You see... she's not my real grandma. She is really my step-grandmother. My Grandma Campbell passed away when I very young and I have no memory of her. I ache for the chance to have known her and can't wait until I finally do get to meet her after this life. I am jealous of those who knew her and tell me about how wonderful she was. My Grandpa Campbell remarried a few years after her death and thus Grandma Melba became my paternal grandmother. I have many fond memories and always felt like she was a real grandmother. I never felt like she treated me differently just because I wasn't her "real" grandson.
Grandma Melba had a stroke a couple of weeks ago and then suffered a second stroke. I spoke with my mother on the phone today and she told me that according to Grandma's wishes they are sending her home without any life support so that she can rest in peace. I wasn't prepared for how this would affect me. I immediately became emotional and haven't been able to get her off my mind. My first feeling was one of guilt for not spending enough time with her. Since my grandpa passed away I feel like I've been to see her less and less when I'm in Bakersfield. I have the urge to see her before she passes on and will probably go to Bakersfield this weekend. I know she may not be very coherent and may not know me but I feel like its something I have to do. I promise not all my posts will be this sad. I'm excited to join the ranks of those who blog. Until next time.....