Happy Birthday Shannon Lovebug!

I used to blog all the time and then I got married!  I let my beautiful Suz take over a lot of the blogging but tonight I take to sharing with words because my heart is hurting so I thank you for indulging me as I ramble.

My sweet sister Shannon would be 33 years old today!  She died just over 6 years ago after nobly living with Cystic Fibrosis.  Most of the time life goes on and I rely on my faith in God and His plan and knowing that she is with Him doing some important work.  But....

I miss her today.  I miss her so much it hurts.  As I've been thinking about her tonight I have gone through photo albums of our childhood, read through journal and blog entries, listened to songs that she loved and watched clips on youtube of movies she loved and that we loved to watch together.

Click Mockingbird  to hear the song that we always practiced singing together because it was so much fun and in my opinion we did it much better (ok...me doing it better than Toby Keith might be a stretch depending on your tastes but Shannon could outsing his daughter any day)!

We LOVED the music from the movie Finian's Rainbow.  I can't listen to any of it without crying and thinking of and longing for those carefree childhood days.   Here's a rendition by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir that is much better than the movie and has special meaning for me as well.  Look to the Rainbow

Happy Birthday sweet sister of mine!  I miss you so much and the selfish part of me wants you here.  I want my wife to know you because she barely got to meet you.  I want her to hear your amazing and contagious laugh and hear firsthand from you all of the funny stories you tell on yourself.  I want my kids to know their Aunt Shannon right now  and I fear I don't do a good enough of job of sharing your life with them.

Tonight as I put Gracie to bed, I told her that it is your birthday today.  She got so excited and then began to ask me questions.  "How can we sing to her if she's in heaven?  Who will give her birthday cake and help her blow out the candles?  How do we get to heaven to help her have a special day?"  As she rattled through these questions so innocently it was all I could do to keep the lump in my throat at bay.  We finally decided together that you could hear us singing Happy Birthday to you even though you're in heaven and sang you a quick rendition.

I love you Shannon and I am so glad you're free from the disease that infected your earthly body.  I know you're safe and sound and that I will see you again.  I know that the circle of life is all part of God's plan and I have faith that He knows best....but tonight, I'm crying because I miss you and wish you were here!  Happy Birthday Lovebug!